Montag, 19. Oktober 2009

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

how are you doing? I hope you are fine.

Paul said that you do not exist and that it is all fairy tales and stupid stories for grown-ups, so I got mad at him. And I want to tell you I believe in you.

And I want to tell you, I am a very good little girl. Although this thing happened and Uncle Steve was taken away by the police. Really, it was not my fault. I can keep a secret. You know that. You know I did not tell anyone about the hidden sweets in Miss Taylor's desk. And I did not taky any. So you know I am honest, too.

Uncle Steve had told me it was a secret. And I should not tell anyone. But when Mommy found the photos, what should I do? She came to my room, and she sat down on the bed, and she had this really serious, Mommy-business face, and she was really pale. And I was very upset because, you know, it ws a secret and I had made the promise, and Mommy always says we must keep secrets, but she says we shouldd not lie, so what was I supposed to do? I did not tell her, she knew anyway. She showed me the photos and asked, did I want to tell her about the thing? And I said no, because I had promised. And then she showed me the other things Uncle Steve keeps in his dresser and sometimes takes out when we play. Some of them are very gaudy, and they feel funny, and it is not that bad after all.

So, you see, she knew everything upfront. I really did not tell her. Well, and then she asked how long had we been playing. And had there been any yother people. She had her very quiet Mommy-voice, like when she tries to find out if she has to be angry because we broke something. I was a bit afraid, but then I told her. You see, the date was on the back of the photos, so it was no secret anyway.

And all the time I had a bad conscience because of Uncle Steve and the promise. He is very nice, he talks to me and goes to the playground with me, and he always brings chocolate. And Mommy was so happy. I think she cried last night, but the bedroom door was closed, and I was afraid to go inside. She must be very upset with me.

Because the day after she came into my room with the photos and the other things, the police came and took Uncle Steve away. I was watching TV and he came through the front door, and then there was shouting and the police were all over him, and he looked at me and I knew he was very disappointed. Mommy said we would not see him again ever, and I wonder if this is my fault, too?

Now you know that I was a good girl and there was nothing I could do about the whole story, and I am very sorry for Uncle Steve and for Mommy, and I wanted to send Uncle Steve a letter, too, but Mommy got upset and threw the letter away and said Uncle Steve was a very bad man, and then she cried again.

Oh, can I have a pony for christmas? I want to name it Bruno.

Elaine, 8 years.


Sheila (@stinginthetail) hat gesagt…

that was beautiful... which is perhaps a strange thing to say about such a subject, but i thought it worked well. :)

Deanna Schrayer hat gesagt…

Heartwrenching Diandra. This sort of subject matter just tears me to pieces. Great job of capturing the innocence of a child.
Thanks for stopping by to read Sam's letter to Santa.