Have you ever tried keeping track of all the relationships in the underworld? Trust me, it's impossible. Take my wife, Sally, for example. She's a minor succubus, and at the moment we have a huge fight and I can't actually recall why we married in the first place... whatever. Her family is huge. In every way.
Take yesterday evening, for example. I was just about to retreat to my home office, with a slice of cold pizza - that's everything I'm getting for dinner at the moment, as if a man doesn't deserve a real meal after a hard day's work! - when there was a knock at the front door. It was late, but we're living in a really quiet and well-mannered neighborhood, so I got the door without thinking.
The shock almost killed me.
Standing on the front porch, only inches away from me, was a flesh mountain. Or at least most of it was flesh. The rest consisted of warts, coarse hair and impressive yellow teeth. To be honest, I almost peed my pants.
The thing smiled at me and, with a surprisingly cultivated voice, asked, "Is Sally at home?"
"You're a friend of hers?" After several years of marriage, I should have gotten used to this kind of visits. I'm still not sure from which side of her family Sally got her great looks. Well, part-time great looks. Ever since we started fighting, she decided to walk around like a nightmare.
"Actually, I'm her cousin, Gorka."
I heard foot steps behind me. "What's going on?"
Sally appeared beside me. I could smell her. Obviously she had not only decided not to change back, she also hadn't taken a shower in quite some time. Congrats, Henry, you're married to - well, this.
She gave a shriek which may have been anger or joy, in her other form I'm never quite sure about this. However, she hugged the other thing and dragged it - Gorka, right? - into the house.
"Come on in, man", I muttered and turned to hide in my office.
Sally shot me a dirty look, grabbed the pizza from my hand and passed it on to her cousin. "Where are your manners, Henry? And besides, Gorka is a GIRL."
Well, how should I have known?