The ticket to Canada had cost almost all his remaining money. After two nights at the hotel and riding the boat around the Falls he now was completely broke. But it didn't matter anymore.
When Laura had left him, she had taken everything with her. Clothes, furniture, pictures - even the baby's room, complete with carpet and fairy tale curtains. She had left nothing in return, especially no note saying, "I am sorry, I couldn't cope with the situation" or "I promise I'll be back".
He had spent the first three days in bed. The first day, he had called his boss and mumbled something about a bad cold. There had been some old cheese in the fridge for dinner.
The second day, he had finished off all his beer.
On the third day, when his boss had called him back, worried something might be seriously wrong, he had shouted at him and called him a stupid prick and had put down the receiver without waiting for the boss to fire him. Then he had gone to the bank, taken all his remaining money and boarded a plane to Canada.
He had always wanted to see Niagara Falls. Ever since he had first watched a documentary about it on TV. He thought it was only appropriate to at least fulfill this dream of his before it was over.
The experience had been disappointing. The weather had been bad, and in his imagination everything had been bigger. After the boat ride, he had returned to his room, wet as a surfing chipmunk, and had gone to bed in his dirty clothes. The shoes stood in the middle of the room, looking like sad baby seals.
Another morning came, and the rain was still there. Surely it had overstayed its welcome. But there was nothing to be done about it. This was the day. He sneaked out of the room, quietly, using the emergency exits, since he couldn't pay his full bill. It was early in the morning, the sky a dark gray, and there was hardly anybody about. He took the meandering path down to the Falls, where you were supposed to have the best view. Walking through the rain, he let all the "what ifs" pass through his memory once more.
What if they hadn't met.
What if the baby had been alive.
What if they had talked to each other.
Each of them ugly and demanding and pointing at him, shouting, "You failed! It's your fault!"
The water looked like a blanket cascading over the shoulder of the Falls. He imagined the Falls to be a fat, sleeping lady, slightly stirring in her sleep. It must be cold, sleeping here, out in the open. And with the dreadful weather!
The roaring of the water drowned out his thoughts, and he felt a strange peace settling inside him. Maybe this wasn't the day.
Maybe this was another day.