Boy, it's boring in here. And all the fumes! How I hate raspberries. That's what you get for not paying attention to the hole you crawl into for a good day's sleep. Stuck and nauseous.
Well, at least it's better than sitting out in the cold. We never had that much snow where I come from. Not that I miss home... too hot, too dry, and most of all, too boring. Guess I emigrated just in time. Spent some time here, messed around there, visited someplace altogether different. Wasted my youth playing pranks on unsuspecting travelers.
You know what? I had a great time. Especially back in Afghanistan, when that stupid goat herder literally tripped over me. That face!!! Almost popped his eyes out! Only because I was enjoying myself - naked, of course. He recovered soon enough.
People were so easy to scare back then! Nowadays they have TV, internet, all that strange stuff. You have to pull all kinds of tricks to impress them.
I think I'm feeling dizzy. If that hobo doesn't unscrew the bottle soon, his first wish better be that I don't puke all over him. And hey, stop shaking me!